We did our first-ever filmed interview and, amazingly, it was with none other than Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard. Though it was for Farrin’s work at IMPACT, it felt like such a deeply personal opportunity. I remember Judy coming out in the early days after her son’s murder and being such a strong voice for LGBT support. I remember being amazed that she could suffer such a loss and still do that.
Of course, I never thought I’d get to meet her, let alone have a private interview with her. When Farrin nonchalantly said to me, “you might have to interview Judy Shepard” I was excited as shit and scared all at once. And that feeling pretty much stayed with me until the interview was done. Knowing that this woman has been advocating for gay rights and hate-crime legislation for over thirteen years is amazing in itself, but when Judy speaks, it’s another thing entirely.
The woman speaks from the heart and somehow it cuts right through all the pretense and bullshit and litigious, pedantic speak that we are all so accustomed to. And she isn’t crude or crass about it either. She’s just a real mother telling her story. It feels as though everything is crystal clear to Judy: ignorance is what breeds hate, the church is pretty good at pushing that agenda along too for anyone who wants someone to think for them, and we need to tell our personal stories because that is what changes people’s hearts and minds.
Before our interview, Judy gave the keynote speech at HER day at the Center on Halsted and for someone “preaching to the choir” she had some really poignant things to say. She reminded us that coming out once is not enough. In order to change people’s hearts, and in turn, change something as big as legislation based on hate, we have to remind our friends, families, coworkers and other people in our lives, of the things that effect us. We also need to simply keep talking about our lives and our partners in a normal way — because it is normal. If we don’t, how do we expect to gain allies? And having a large base of allies is what wins civil rights. I had never thought of it like that and now I absolutely believe it to be true. I think it is so clear to Judy Shepard because she is constantly sharing her story and moving others, often changing people’s minds. She is the best kind of ally to have on our side and it makes me proud. The Matthew Shepard Foundation is amazing and in 2009 hate-crime legislation including sexual orientation and gender was finally signed into law.
After her keynote, Judy met us in the conference room that we had set up and gave us a great 10 minute interview, which will be up on the IMPACT website soon. She answered questions on bullying in schools, the kind of role she believes mothers should play and how to deal with knowing and accepting that your child is LGBT. The answers rolled off her tongue and even though I suspect that she’s become pretty at ease with public speaking, her answers felt real and not at all canned. It was such an honor and even though it’s been days now since she gave us the interview, I’m still giddy about it. Mark of a true hero I suppose, though she would never call herself that. She prefers “pissed off mother”.